Creating a Character for my Anxiety and Depression

By the title of this post, you are probably wondering what the hell am I talking about right? Let me explain this a bit before you think that I am absolutely insane. Whenever my anxiety is building up or has just arrived (always at the worst possible time) I often say to my friends “that damn bitch is back.” Before I tend to curl up into a ball and sit on my floor for a few hours feeling like absolute crap because of my anxiety, I realize how crazy these thoughts are and poke fun of myself for thinking these absolutely irrational thoughts. 

My humor has gotten me through the best of times and the worst of times in my life. To give a movie reference, I am like Carrie Bradshaw cracking a small joke after Mr. Big didn’t show up to their wedding. 

“Oh honey, you cracked a joke! Good for you.” Samantha Jones thank you for one of my favorite statements for my anxiety and depression. 

None of us like our anxiety or depression. It is that one thing in life we wish we could control alt delete. Like the common cold, there is no cure for either of these mental health issues. So my humor decided let’s have a little fun with it shall we? 

When my anxiety is starting to greet me I often wondered what she would look like. I went with a female because there are many obnoxious movie or TV characters I could build this around to make it more real for myself. So I happened to be thinking about all of the obnoxious annoying character traits that all high school characters have. Think Regina George from Mean Girls, Christy Masters from Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion, Lana Thomas from The Princess Diaries, Chanel Oberlin from Scream Queens, and Georgina Sparks from Gossip Girl. But she’s dressed like Emma Stone’s character from Ghost of Girlfriends past. 

So whenever my anxiety comes creeping in, this is who I picture. It makes it a little less hard to deal with when you can picture something that you really wish would get hit by a bus…. 

After that Mean Girl reference that you just laughed at, my depression persona is a single character. One that I loved to watch as a kid, her monotone voice and loathing for anything peppy just perfectly fits my depression. 

Daria. 

My seasonal depression loves to dump sleeping powder everywhere and make me want to sleep for days on end. Daria’s monotone voice is the one I hear in my head when I tend to communicate with anyone when I’m in my depressive state. Minimal speaking and just lots of blank staring. 

When these 2 show up together it is like a party… that I didn’t want to be at. 

Having an image or character of what my anxiety and depression look like makes it easier to deal with head-on. I have been battle mental health problems since I was 15 years old, and believe me I have explored so many outlets that I think would work for me. What may work for me, may not work for you… however, knowing that you aren’t the only one going through this does help a great deal. And I hope whoever is reading this does have a bit of a laugh and realize “hey maybe this is what my anxiety would look like if it were a person.”

What would your mental health persona look like?

Xx Sarah

 

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